darling_lisa: (DT Then Love Me)
Holy cow, another year gone.  *shaking my head* 

It's been a better year than the one before, and for the most part I can't complain.  Cari and I made a pact that this would be the year of random concerts and it really was.  Starting with Fun. and ending with Steve Carlson in England, and pretty much all kinds of random and wonderful in between.  The William Beckett and Fun. gigs have special places in my heart because Brandi trusted me blindly and went along even though she had no idea who they were... and loved both of them.  It was another year of not being able to see My Chem, and the Green Day concert got cancelled, but i have high hopes that 2013 will be the year for both of them.  

Travel wise, it was another busy year.  Highlights of the year were trips to be part of the wedding of people I love, my first ever trip to Canada, a return to England and shenanigans all over the place.   I hate that my friends live all over the world, but combining my love of travel with the chance to see them?  Made of awesome.   

Work?  Ups and downs, lots of them.  But I survived and I realized that it's ok not to have a consuming passion for my job.  It pays my bills and lets me do the things I want to do.  I am lucky in that regard and I am trying to keep that in mind when it drags me down.   

Mostly this has been a year where I realized that the most important parts of my life aren't whats, but rather whos.  I know, I know, I'm a bit slow on the uptake sometimes.   I'm getting there tho.  Just know that I love you, yes, you.  And you.  And you.  And I am thankful that you are in my life, in whatever way.   

I'm spending tonight with friends and (my second) family.  There will be ridiculously competitive games, drinks and food, probably Eddie Izzard playing in the background at some point and lots of laughter.  I don't have anyone to kiss at midnight because I don't have a boy, and all my girls are scattered to the winds and the people I have here don't understand that sometimes a kiss is just a kiss and doesn't have romantic connotations.  Sometimes it just means I love you and I am glad you are here with me in this moment.  But thats ok, because I will have people I love near.  I hope you have love and laughter tonight and all year long.  

(And if you are the kissing type and in the same boat, know I would give you a kiss at midnight if I could.)

I'm off now, so I'll end with my traditional wish (stolen, as ever, from Neil Gaiman):

I hope that in this year to come, you make mistakes.
Because if you are making mistakes, then you are making new things, trying new things, learning, living, pushing yourself, changing yourself, changing your world. You're doing things you've never done before, and more importantly, you're Doing Something.
So that's my wish for you, and all of us, and my wish for myself. Make New Mistakes. Make glorious, amazing mistakes. Make mistakes nobody's ever made before. Don't freeze, don't stop, don't worry that it isn't good enough, or it isn't perfect, whatever it is: art,or love, or work or family or life
Whatever it is you're scared of doing, Do it.
Make your mistakes, next year and forever.
darling_lisa: (Scream)
FUCK MY LIFE.

You know that Eddie Izzard skit where he is talking about the differences between American and Foreign movies? The one with Sebastian in the attic with the matches and "Perhaps I better had." And then there is the American version, to whit:

It would be a Room with a View of HELL!
Staircase of SATAN!
Pond of DEATH!

"What are ya doin' with the fuckin' matches! Always in here with the fuckin' matches!"

"Hey, shut up! Hey, you fuck my wife? You fuck my wife? You fuck my wife?"

"I *am* your wife."

"Don't matter! Don't matter! You fuck my wife?"

"Yes, I fucked your wife. I am your wife and I fucked her"

"Ahhhh... Oh no! Space Monkeys are attacking!"

"Jeanne, I love you, even though you fucked my wife."

/Everyone dies in a ball of flame, sad and alone/

That is what my life is like right now. Except it's not funny at all. And in fact I kind of want to cry as I sit here metaphorically shouting "I *am* your wife" over and over but no one listens.

Yes, I realize this makes sense to exactly no one but me.

Fuck my life.
darling_lisa: (I don't even know)
Waiting at the airport (flight to DEN delayed slightly,) and taking advantage of the free Wifi. Catching up on the interwebs and saw this on Amanda Fucking Palmer's blog and absolutely had to share.

I really have nothing else to say.  Just wanted to keep this so I can find it again.

life will break you.
nobody can protect you from that, and living alone won’t either,
for solitude will also break you with its yearnings.
you have to love.
you have to feel.
it is the reason you are here on earth.
you are here to risk your heart.
you are here to be swallowed up.
and when it happens that you are broken, or betrayed, or left, or hurt,
or death brushes near, let yourself sit by an apple tree
and listen to the apples falling all around you in heaps, wasting their sweetness.
tell yourself that you tasted as many as you could.

- louise erdrich, the painted drum



All about Me

darling_lisa: (Default)
darling_lisa

October 2013

S M T W T F S
  12345
6 789101112
13 141516171819
202122 23242526
2728293031  

Syndicate

RSS Atom

Most Popular Tags

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags
Page generated Sep. 22nd, 2017 04:50 pm
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios