darling_lisa: (Scream)

You know that Eddie Izzard skit where he is talking about the differences between American and Foreign movies? The one with Sebastian in the attic with the matches and "Perhaps I better had." And then there is the American version, to whit:

It would be a Room with a View of HELL!
Staircase of SATAN!
Pond of DEATH!

"What are ya doin' with the fuckin' matches! Always in here with the fuckin' matches!"

"Hey, shut up! Hey, you fuck my wife? You fuck my wife? You fuck my wife?"

"I *am* your wife."

"Don't matter! Don't matter! You fuck my wife?"

"Yes, I fucked your wife. I am your wife and I fucked her"

"Ahhhh... Oh no! Space Monkeys are attacking!"

"Jeanne, I love you, even though you fucked my wife."

/Everyone dies in a ball of flame, sad and alone/

That is what my life is like right now. Except it's not funny at all. And in fact I kind of want to cry as I sit here metaphorically shouting "I *am* your wife" over and over but no one listens.

Yes, I realize this makes sense to exactly no one but me.

Fuck my life.
darling_lisa: (DLM Copier)
So I'm trying not to whine about my job, I really am. But today is one of those days where I am *this* close to tears or just throwing my headset across the room and screaming FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK at the top of my lungs. Neither of which will actually get me anywhere.

So I am turning to you dear flist... share something pretty with me? A pic or a link or a snippet of something... anything to get my mind off the fact that I am in hell.

In return I'll share this Tom Hardy interview with you in which he is adorable beyond belief and makes me want to watch him giggle forever and ever...


Dec. 16th, 2010 08:42 pm
darling_lisa: (I don't even know)
I'm praying its a clerical error, but really Universe? The week before Christmas you throw this shit at me? *sigh* And here I am all frustrated and freaking out and there isn't a damn thing I can do until morning except curse and worry and pray that things can be straightened out easily.

*throws things and wishes could have temper tantrum like a little kid*
darling_lisa: (DLM Copier)
Dear coworker,

If your only contribution to this meeting is to incorrectly correct my grammar, over an OXFORD FUCKING COMMA no less, please shut the fuck up and keep your damn mouth closed or I will be forced to murder you.


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